questions i get asked a lot, AND THEIR RESPECTIVE ANSWERS
Are you expensive?
Yeah, kinda.
Do you shoot weddings?
Not really; I shoot the odd wedding for friends and acquaintances and couples who really want a specific "back room punk show in the 1970s" kind of vibe. I can send you to somebody I'd trust with my wedding. I'd link them here but with the industry being what it is (bad) I don't know if those photographers will have retrained as pilates instructors by the time you read this. Email me. I'm not going to charge you a finder's fee or anything.
How have you integrated AI into your workflow?
I haven't. Never ask me this again.
Is Caroline O'Donoghue nice in real life?
It's weird that you never ask me this about a man.
Caroline is an intelligent, funny, and kind-hearted person who deserves all the success in the world, but I wouldn't describe her as "nice." "Nice" is nonconfrontational; "nice" keeps the status quo exactly where it is; "nice" gets us nowhere. We wouldn't be friends if either of us was "nice."
Great boobs, though.
That's not a question, but I'll be sure to pass it along.
And she's fine with you putting this on your professional website?
She insisted I put this on my professional website.
Didn't you make a film for NASA, or am I remembering that wrong?
No; I submitted a short collage documentary to the Houston Cinema Arts Festival in 2017 that was awarded a prize sponsored by NASA, who decided to screen it for the astronauts on the International Space Station. Apparently one of them cried. Since then, it's had a weird life of its own at film festivals I invariably can't attend. I put it together in a month from NASA's archives so I could learn a new editing software, and it's one of the best things I've ever made. That's just how it goes sometimes.
Did somebody really ask that last question?
No. I just try to work it into every conversation. Richard Linklater was the judge, too.